first, the good news...

...mom bought a comforter for their bed that matches me!! way cool. & so after a few weeks of letting the dust settle on her purchase, i decided that she was sufficiently complacent.


waiting until she exited the room on a day with a particularly magnificent sunbeam in just the right place, i was so *on* that comforter. totally camo'd. thinking, 'she'll never notice.'
nope.
she'll never notice a BIG WHITE DOG on her cushy bed!


well, i was wrong. her rapid room re-entry became a stunned-in-her-tracks stop, followed by a slow edging toward the camera. always the camera...maybe if i look the other way...or the other-other way...if i look down...or close my eyes...nope. no use. once again, i'm phil-ibusted!!!...dog vs. mom official score...

dog - 0 mom - 2

can you dig it??

aaaahhh...thank goodness mom's loooooooooooong blog fast is over! i'm not sure i understand why her break was mine too, but i'm back...though mom did make me wash my paws before posting. why, you ask? just take a look...the ground was moist...i had energy to burn...& a biscuit to bury...L.???...she had other ideas (her biscuits are buried in the furniture when no one is looking)...first she lured me away with a full-on dog battle...pretending to be large & in charge...then she took over...& took a nap in **my** hole...not cool.

dog vs. dog...

basset - 1

lab - 0

dog vs...

...an empty appliance box! yes folks, this is what happens when boyworld is left in charge. i distinctly recall mom yelling over her shoulder as she left the house to venture to that mysterious location that yields our favorite dog food & biscuits, "boys, collapse & recycle that box!"

uh huh.

if i would have been a bit more alert (read: not in my biscuit-induced coma on the dog bed) i would have ran for the master bedroom & hid under the bed. should anyone who lives in boyworld be trusted with a biscuit in one hand, the camera in the other & a very, very large box looming in the background?

i think not.

apparently L. was not on her game either because they corralled her right alongside lil' ol' me. they dropped some biscuits on the floor & - here is the very unfair part - while we were sidetracked with culinary craziness, someone dropped the box.

on top of us.it was dark.they were laughing.mom?? it seemed like forever until she put the key in the front door...& when she opened it, imagine her surprise! instead of a hearty hound patrol greeting with fur & tongue & paws, she saw a giant appliance box charging down the hallway! once over the surprise of that, did she rescue us? yes, but only after a bout of hysterical laughter! once free, L. made a bee-line for her very best hiding spot& i hid behind mom's legs for the balance of the evening, turning grocery put-away into an olympic sport. & boyworld...well, they had to collapse & recycle the box after all.

dogs - 2

box - destroyed

boyworld - in the doghouse!!

busted!!! (or...dog vs. boys)

dear mom...

what ever possessed you to allow Little Man & Big Bro to purchase handcuffs?? did you not know it would come to this? L. & i are not amused. please post bail asap...preferrably in the form of biscuits. & while you are at it, please exercise your jurisdiction over this residence & hide the dad-blame handcuffs!

sincerely yours,

phil

ps. it is hard to blog while cuffed to L.!

dogs - 0 boys - 2 (at least until mom rescues us!)

dog vs.....vet!

wow! what a week this has been... we've had swimming in the bay during the warm spell followed by a very nice outdoor bath & sunning on the deck.mom always insists on a bath before the monthly flea/tick treatment. luckily she also insists on handing out that extra special tasty treat at the same time. she calls in heartworm prevention medicine, but L. & i call it very very delish. i tend to favor this time of the month for very obvious reasons, being that i am a water-loving breed of dog & a food loving type too.

but for L., this routine is not so fun.

she not only gets the dreaded-for-her bath (bassets don't usually like water & she is no exception)...and she gets her "special" ear treatment (you know, for looooong basset ears)...and because she is L.A.Z.Y....meaning moves only when she absolutely must & thus does not exercise enough to wear her nails down nicely, she also needs her monthly nail trimming.

sounds benign, right? all girls like a pedicure, don't they? ha! not L. you should see her freak out.completely. Little Man must practically hog tie her (not really, but close) & speak to her in mystical tones while massaging her like she is in a hollywood salon for the works. mom works furiously with that clipper thingy...lots of aim & miss with moments of actual clipping - the sound of which sends L. into spasms of hound fury. i just hang close by & try to catch the clippings in my mouth for fun (& mom & Little Man gag if i do - extra fun for me)...

but for poor L. this month was just a little bit different.

she had her usual stuff like me, but no nail trimming. the next day she found out why...the annual vet visit!

did L. know beforehand? i believe she did. when Little Man & mom were dragging her into the van, i detected an element of dread in her demeanor. lucky for me, i stayed behind & found a sunbeam for 2 quiet hours.
L. returned home with her tail firmly between her legs & Little Man in hysterics over her antics. oh i knew this experience had to have been ripe with juicy blog gossip! now, for those of you who have never been to the vet, let me recap my last visit...

smells. lots & lots of smells. i cannot sit still smells. other animals. lots of 'em. some growling, some barking, some howling, some hiding, some (heaven forbid) even in cages! then there are those nice people in scrubs that love to scratch my ears & sweet talk me. these folks take you to that mysterious room behind the door...ok so far.

then the real fun begins...poking, prodding, sample-taking, shots - all the while with lots of that sweet talking & ear scratching. i just go with it. it's only once a year. hey, mom says i've gotta do it & since she has the biscuits...

now with L. & her "temperament" the whole experience gets a little spicy. i know first hand. you see, mom used to take us together...talk about madness & chaos! i've seen L. refuse, people, *refuse* the nicey nice ear scratches. i've seen her bare her canines. i've heard her deep guttural growls. & this is all just at the scale! (do you think she's worried about her weight?)

the poking, the shots...the complimentary nail trim! the last time we went to the vet together, i was mortified when we returned to the waiting room...every single eye was trained on us, every face - canine & human - was wearing a countenance of pure dread. L.'s howling was that bad. one brave soul asked mom what had happened "in there" & mom nonchalantly replied, "oh, just a nail trim." eyes rolled, let me tell you! mouths whispered...& i know what they said..."drama queen!"

& now, i am guessing from all the people-talk that this most recent visit shows a serious etiquette breech, a steep decline in manners on L's part! you see, they had to *MUZZLE* her!! (oh, why didn't they send her home with that apparatus?) i overheard mom tell dad that the moment they set foot in the exam room, without even so much as a gesture, L. had her canines showing & the growl in full rumble. the assistant made one step & the growl became more insistent...should we muzzle her, the assistant asked. mom said oh yes, definitely, visions of blood & gore swimming in her head. bwhhaahahaha!!! wish i could have seen that! anyway, mom said L. continued to growl throughout the entire exam & found this ever so embarrassing...

you see, our vet is a neighbor & good friend of dad's. he's a nice guy. who wants to growl at a nice guy...save it for the burglar, i say! anyway, mom said he virtually ignored the growling baby, handled her like a pro, said he's seen much worse...making small talk while doing all the vet visit entails.

L. is now home, nicely recovered & on her cushy bed in the best nap mode.i am dreaming of her wearing the latest in basset fashion...that muzzle! i think i will somehow request we go back to same-time appointments, just to see the show!

dog - 0 vet - 1!!

dog vs. dog!! i've got a bone to pick...

...with L. this bone teasing saga has got to end. i was sleeping soundly on my sweet, second choice bed (the one in mom& dad's room - the one *lacking* memory foam, unlike mushu's new bed!). L. was...well, i don't really know, but she was giving me some space.

mom gave a bone call & we ran to the point verge...the kitchen pantry door! you know L.'s whole teasing story, so i won't bore you with the details of how this time usually goes. but, as ususal, i *ate* my bone. i ambled back to the lofty viewing area also known as mom & dad's room, giving my best "i would like to sun on the deck eyes." mom - who *gets* me - complied & used her opposible thumbs to open the deck door.

aaaaahhhhh...the sun & a full tummy. heavy. dog. sigh. peace at last - but not for long. in short order i hear the click-click-click of L.'s high hound fashion walk. a quick glance reveals her choice landing...the dog cushion with bone-in-mouth.

ok, so yet again, she is in the tease mode. i am torn.

i am outside.

the bone is in full view.

inside.

i want in!!!

mom sees my longing (but does she *know*??)...& she graciously opens the door. uh oh. first dog dilemma of the day...there is the deck door... & directly in front of it is the bed in all its length.

the path to anything leads by the bone. i must walk around the bed. i must walk within INCHES of the coveted bone. i must walk within INCHES of L. L. is instantly on high dog-stalker alert. the growling begins. the canines are bared...

i want OUT!!!

i want my BATHTUB!!!!

mom catches the drama & laughs...she laughs, people! where is the love?!?

so here i am stuck at the closed door with nowhere to go...i am not allowed on the precious people bed. L. will tear me limb-from-limb if i take one more step in her direction...what do i do????

mom, my best ally, is getting hysterical with laughter - she does know! this is not funny! over the bed?? (mom?) run by L., fast??(L.??) bed? L.? i'm dead...GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! BWAHHHAHAHA BWAHAHA!!!

finally i make my move...mom is so much nicer than L. & it's over the bed i go, tail between my labrador legs...

my oh my oh my! forget the milk bone, i just want to save my hide. besides, mom is laughing waaaaaaay too hard to be effective at anything, let alone scold poor me for a split second of time on people furniture! i'm safe. i'm outta here! not funny...mom.

phil - 0 L. - 1

on guard...dog vs. squirrel

do you see what i see??

not 1, but 2 squirrels!

we need another dog...L., quit hiding & help me!dang #$%*# glass!! one day that door will open & you will be MINE!!!...

dog - 0; squirrel - 2

(no squirrels were harmed in the making of this post, however one dog nose was slightly out of joint!)

dog vs. water hose

mom & dad just got back from a mini vacation & boy, did i miss them! no one hands out the milk bones quite like mom. & no one can throw my football as far as dad can. it is so good to be back in action...but...

oh, no! that water thing is starting...i have got to rescue mom! every evening when we go out for our jaunt, it awakens & interupts our peace & quiet.

it's ok, mom! i'll save you from its icy blast...

you are mine, you dreaded water sprayer...

take that...

& that...!

not one drop of water will harm my peeps - i WILL contain the danger!...

umphhhhh! you think you got me...

well you're wrong...grrrrrrr....

i've got it, mom! you are safe once again...

WHEW!

chivalry is not dead...at least not in my backyard!

dog - 1; water hose - 0!!!!

dog vs. hog

oh, no...here he comes again!!hedge is getting edgy - it's time to go back to college & that little spiked beast is cruising all over the joint. of course, he ususally aims for me! L. can't even stop him.she's afraid she might ruin her look if he gets too close. you know, a spike hanging off the nose of a basset isn't exactly high fashion (at least not this year). dear me, dad, did you hafta get him out??

you wanna cuddle? are you kidding me?!?!!

ok, ok, i give!i'm bringing in reinforcements!...Maggie the Boston Terrier (or Boston Terror, if you're a hedge hog!)Maggie is visiting from PA & technically the this tiny hound is our "aunt" - oh, please! are you confused yet? well, *she's* not afraid of Hedge!of course, they did put him back in his plastic roller dome. come here, you...i know you're in there...

dog - 1; hog - 2

(no hedgehogs were harmed in the production of this post.)