my new gig!

do *not* try to tell mom that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. according to my dog food bag label i am old (senior formula food...ugh.) & mom said i needed to learn something new. but before we discuss my serious talent, we must have some background info...first, there's L. there's always L.!...L. taught *herself* a new trick & that trick would be how to scam me outta my fair morning portion of dog food. uncool!


you see, mom used to feed us at precisely the same moment & just around the corner of the food pantry from one another. L. couldn't see me. i couldn't (didn't care to) see her. all was well...until the day she decided to 'turn the corner' & ambush me!!


mom was nearby (whew!) & was able to save my dignity &, most importantly, the food. all of us thought it was an isolated incident (though Little Man was quite amused & secretly hoped for a repeat...humph.) & so mom laid out breakfast the next day in the usual manner. WHOA!!! L. did it again! basset thy name is *stalker*!...& so began the journey of food bowl separation. now we must eat 3 rooms apart to contain the beast otherwise known as L. & mom must be nearby to guard me. very uncool!...people, L. has even tried an under-the-end-table sneak attack & an under-mom's-desk lunge. her daring knows no bounds! well, she has seemed to settle a wee bit lately, but mom has decided in the name of running an efficient household that if i will not defend myself in front of the smaller dog, i must clean up after myself. that's right...i must now put my own bowl away!!...hence, new trick...after 3 days of mom & Little Man explaining this to me (& me silently asking why L. isn't the one made to clean up), i got it & now i do it *with style*~~on command i pick up my bowl...run to the pantry...& put it away...of course, i still need someone with opposible thumbs to open the pantry door, but, hey, i've got it goin' on!!!

sweet...

...potato! i heard the peeler slide across those lil' fellers...like a shot, i was off the dog bed & into the kitchen ready to do my duty, cleaning any spare peels that land on the floor...but wait!...what is L. doing in there??...*she* doesn't eat sweet potato peelings...heck, she doesn't eat any vegetables or fruit!...how rude!...look at her just hanging by the peelings...growling at my every move & for what?...she just wants to deprive me of one of my simple joys...good thing mom is onto her...after she accrued a rather hefty pile o' peelings, mom gave her the boot so i could properly clean up the floor!!...yummy!!! i'm such a good boy!...mom said!

can you dig it??

aaaahhh...thank goodness mom's loooooooooooong blog fast is over! i'm not sure i understand why her break was mine too, but i'm back...though mom did make me wash my paws before posting. why, you ask? just take a look...the ground was moist...i had energy to burn...& a biscuit to bury...L.???...she had other ideas (her biscuits are buried in the furniture when no one is looking)...first she lured me away with a full-on dog battle...pretending to be large & in charge...then she took over...& took a nap in **my** hole...not cool.

dog vs. dog...

basset - 1

lab - 0

sniff...sniff...

exactly *what* is that thing you keep pointing at me???...

it's about time!

geesh mom! when you take a vacation could you give me a little more leash? it's been a month since i've posted.

ok, people...not. my. fault.!! mom & that jet lag thingy...what can i say. time for a bit of catch-up here...

L. is still lazy.

no one at my house read the memo from the previous post (whaaaa??).

but seriously...what's new?

another trip to the vet. oh yes! i needed one of my vaccination updates. now that put hound patrol on high alert...another kennel call??? nope. not that i can foresee. whew! L. came along too...for what, you ask? a manicure!!!!! mom has officially called trimming the priss' nails quits. our delightful Dr. M. is much better at it...plus, he has a muzzle!!!!! believe it or not, L. only growled once during the whole thing. i guess she sees that resistence is futile (especially with mom!).& finally...would someone please turn off the thunderstorms??? please. we had one friday night that was especially bothersome for my sensitive self. not even the bathtub or shower would suffice. mom was reading in bed & i snuck onto the forbidden space...one paw at a time. (hey, pollie, ollie & zoe can do it!) she arched an eyebrow over her novel & then dove for the camera!it bought me some time& a few ear scratches of pity.but as soon as that storm roared away, it was back to the doggy bed for me. hmmmphf.

today it is sunny & so that means boat time!!! woof!!! last night dad let me come along for a sunset cruise...but he would not let me sample his catch. darn.today i was front & center on the bow for a tidal creek cruise...only mom would not let me chase those tall white birds, no way, no how.& this afternoon, it is nap time!! oh how i love these *dog days* of summer! keep chillin' till the next time, phil

Happy Howl-idays!!!!

instructions for a very merry holiday...

1. swipe the nearly empty peanut butter container from the trash while mom is filling the cookie tray. she will never notice2. lick furiously...as far as your tongue will go into the container...growl at everyone who comes near your new-found treasure3. give your best hang-dog face while the humans are exchanging gifts4. go so far as to rest your head pathetically on one of their presents5. this will result in many "oooohhhs" & "aaaahhhs" followed by someone giving you *your* gift!

(yes, that is green stuff in my hair...a side effect of the curious cookie decorating incident)

6. pose nicely wearing dumb faux reindeer ears for mom's nosy camera...remembering that she is keeper of treats...Merry Christmas from phil, L., & all our friends here at dog blog!!

'tis the season!

this week mom said the hallowe'en/fall/thanksgiving thing was passed & so i figured any remnants of that season could be put to more practical use...say polishing my canines & whatnot.

apparently it was more like...WHAT?!?! NOT!!!!!

that is what mom said when she saw what i found...a left-over squash! her idea of "break it down & put it away" did not include chewing it to bits all over the carpet. but hey...it had the potential to last longer than a biscuit!

so, you might be asking yourself, what happened to ol' phil after he was caught gnawing the squash? well, let me tell you...

mom is big on the distraction game. i have what she does not want me to have. she procures something that i want even more, waves it in front of my face & i forget what i wanted in the first place. you follow??

usually it's food. but today she tried the season change bait-and-switch routine with me. it worked. for a minute. until i realized that some things are even more lame than gnawing on a squash.

think: faux reindeer antlers on a dog!

first, she sent Little Man in with these vibrant red jingle-bell-y things. i'm all ears! he starts waving them around in all their glorious redness. i forget the squash. (mom nabs it at that moment.) next thing i know, i am *wearing* this pathetic fashion statement from the dollar store. ok. i admit i like red. but on antlers?? on me??

and then she expects me to pose for photos??? i would rather a swift whack with a rolled newspaper, but no! i have to *pose* all nicey nice. hmphf.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

in other dog news...L. is well! that's right...she's not only well, she's downright L-egant, primping & fixing her look for the season...

does this rug make my bum look good...?

oh L.


what a silly, silly girl you are.


mom & dad did not buy that rug as an accessory for your fur. it is merely soft on their human feet (remember that they do not have padding like we do).


we *know* that it matches your coloring perfectly, but really...you are taking this rug thing a bit too far!

(she will not get off that thing, people!)