dog vs. dog!! i've got a bone to pick...

...with L. this bone teasing saga has got to end. i was sleeping soundly on my sweet, second choice bed (the one in mom& dad's room - the one *lacking* memory foam, unlike mushu's new bed!). L. was...well, i don't really know, but she was giving me some space.

mom gave a bone call & we ran to the point verge...the kitchen pantry door! you know L.'s whole teasing story, so i won't bore you with the details of how this time usually goes. but, as ususal, i *ate* my bone. i ambled back to the lofty viewing area also known as mom & dad's room, giving my best "i would like to sun on the deck eyes." mom - who *gets* me - complied & used her opposible thumbs to open the deck door.

aaaaahhhhh...the sun & a full tummy. heavy. dog. sigh. peace at last - but not for long. in short order i hear the click-click-click of L.'s high hound fashion walk. a quick glance reveals her choice landing...the dog cushion with bone-in-mouth.

ok, so yet again, she is in the tease mode. i am torn.

i am outside.

the bone is in full view.

inside.

i want in!!!

mom sees my longing (but does she *know*??)...& she graciously opens the door. uh oh. first dog dilemma of the day...there is the deck door... & directly in front of it is the bed in all its length.

the path to anything leads by the bone. i must walk around the bed. i must walk within INCHES of the coveted bone. i must walk within INCHES of L. L. is instantly on high dog-stalker alert. the growling begins. the canines are bared...

i want OUT!!!

i want my BATHTUB!!!!

mom catches the drama & laughs...she laughs, people! where is the love?!?

so here i am stuck at the closed door with nowhere to go...i am not allowed on the precious people bed. L. will tear me limb-from-limb if i take one more step in her direction...what do i do????

mom, my best ally, is getting hysterical with laughter - she does know! this is not funny! over the bed?? (mom?) run by L., fast??(L.??) bed? L.? i'm dead...GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! BWAHHHAHAHA BWAHAHA!!!

finally i make my move...mom is so much nicer than L. & it's over the bed i go, tail between my labrador legs...

my oh my oh my! forget the milk bone, i just want to save my hide. besides, mom is laughing waaaaaaay too hard to be effective at anything, let alone scold poor me for a split second of time on people furniture! i'm safe. i'm outta here! not funny...mom.

phil - 0 L. - 1

ignored...forgotten...abandoned...

oh, woe is me...

do you see the last date mom let me have some blog license?
i am feeling very rejected of late, slightly depressed even.

first we were invaded by a group of those college types & that hedgehog.

(ok, so they're pretty...but what about *ME*????)

then there was K-Bug's birthday.

my boys have been doing school all. the. time.

mom was writing papers. (she claims to be done, but is only until the next class begins.)

dad was working late & on call & tired when he got home.

all of them were chasing the weather channel crew around our beach.

Big Bro had before-the-crack-of-dawn drivers' ed.

what have i had???...

displaced attention with the hog in the house.

a forgotten birthday!!!!!!!!!!! it was on 9/11...send presents!

a messed up first-of-the-morning jaunt/feeding/biscuit schedule.

forgotten biscuits!!!

too much home-alone time.

no football tosses in the evenings.

they even left me on the dock while they went on the boat (even after i promised not to jump in the water while dad was full throttle!).

L. says all of this just means more time for naps...more time for extra cushy naps on things not for dogs...more time to stop & smell (& even *eat*) the flowers...

(yeah, her new nickname should be "basil breath"...you should see mom's plant, or should i say "stalk"!!!!)

though she is struggling with that biscuit/feeding schedule change, she did note that we have received some extra pity biscuits in this ordeal!

somebody please tell mom to get back to her usual routine...i've got things to say on this blog & a make-up birthday to celebrate!

sherlock bones

L. is outta control. this dog biscuit hiding thing is unreal. i mean, why not just *eat* the biscuit!?!

and me, what do *i* do?? i put my nose to the ground & sniff those babies out whenever i can!!

with my keen detective skills i have uncovered some of the mystery of L. this week alone she has...

1. used mom's school books to cover a biscuit - now that's a lame hiding place! mom is forever at those things & so discovery was imminent.
2. stuck a biscuit in a slipper - some may lament the smell of feet, but hey, i'm a dog & that is not a barrier to me finding/eating that biscuit!


3. left a biscuit in the shower - a bit soggy possibly, but again, i will eat nearly anything in any state of being, solid or liquid, gas if i could!


4. laid for *hours* on *our* - i say OUR- dog bed with a biscuit beside her (growling if i came near). ok, here i must draw the line & come down on the side of ridiculous. what did L. gain by this activity? a sore throat? of course, i tried to get that thing frequently! sometimes i just went to the bed to catch a cushy nap. either way, she growled & wasted way. too. much. dog energy for a measely 1/2 milk bone.
5. stuffed one in the back of dad's recliner - ok this one is fraught with lots of complications. first there is the "no people furniture" rule that mom will bend only for the use of the chaise lounge. (we were very persuasive in that matter!) L. was obviously on the furniture. someone would obviously find the bone - think tailbone hitting milk bone! or....i would have to risk getting on people furniture for recon. what a dilemma! i sacrificed it for my peeps' tailbones & achieved the said bone of glory...mmmmm.


6. dug in mom's indoor plant (did you hear her yell when she found the soil mess?!?!). this has to be the cream of the stupid crop. like mom wouldn't see all that displaced dirt? like no one would notice the bone bulges in the soil? not to mention, L. rendered a perfectly perfect milk bone quite dirty! but as noted, i will still eat it - dirt & all!


biscuits: yum, any way you get it!

on guard...dog vs. squirrel

do you see what i see??

not 1, but 2 squirrels!

we need another dog...L., quit hiding & help me!dang #$%*# glass!! one day that door will open & you will be MINE!!!...

dog - 0; squirrel - 2

(no squirrels were harmed in the making of this post, however one dog nose was slightly out of joint!)

dog vs. water hose

mom & dad just got back from a mini vacation & boy, did i miss them! no one hands out the milk bones quite like mom. & no one can throw my football as far as dad can. it is so good to be back in action...but...

oh, no! that water thing is starting...i have got to rescue mom! every evening when we go out for our jaunt, it awakens & interupts our peace & quiet.

it's ok, mom! i'll save you from its icy blast...

you are mine, you dreaded water sprayer...

take that...

& that...!

not one drop of water will harm my peeps - i WILL contain the danger!...

umphhhhh! you think you got me...

well you're wrong...grrrrrrr....

i've got it, mom! you are safe once again...

WHEW!

chivalry is not dead...at least not in my backyard!

dog - 1; water hose - 0!!!!

Ms. Maggie...

ehem. pardon me for a moment while i push the blog-hog Phil out of the way & take over for a post or two...we little dogs need some cyber-time too.

L. suggested that i growl my way into the scene, but i had a better idea. i just waited until my human sat down at the machine & then using my very best lap-dog techniques, i made my way to dog blog!

i like to talk about ME very much & when i saw phil's meme, i said to myself, "i simply must do that; all the cool dogs are doing it." so here goes...

1. What kind of dog are you? a Boston Terror, i mean Terrier

2. Are you a boy or a girl? i am a lady

3. How old are you? i am not telling - but i will say that tomorrow is my birthday!!!

4. Name one thing you received as a gift on your last birthday. toys, toys & more toys - i am sooooo spoiled!

5. Choose one word to best describe your physique. teensy

6. Share a quote. "If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater. . . suggest that he wear a tail." - Fran Lebowitz

7. Have you ever been stung by a bee? If so, where? most certainly not!

8. Who's your strangest family member? Kolbe, my hound brother

9. Who's your favorite family member? my human dad - keeper of food & leash

10. Do you make an effort to be environmentally friendly? only when the environment is friendly toward me

11. If you were given a blank canvas and water colours, what would you paint? pawprints

12. When is the best time for you to take a 20 minute nap? when ISN'T a good time?

13. Your hair? perfectly coiffed

14. What do you want to be in 10 years? in the White House

15. What you’re not good at? sharing...it's mine, ALL MINE!

16. What are you wearing? absolutely nothing!

17. What aren't you wearing? my stylin' summer collar (much too hot, dahling!)

18. Your mood? curious...i am snooping around phil & L.'s turf

19. Your kitchen? i have servants, so i'm not really sure...

20. What are you thinking about right now? how to get the big white dog to play with

me

21. Love? in love with myself!

22. Foreign languages? i understand Lab & some Basset, & am fluent in Beagle

back to school...

...hog style! the boss lady (a.k.a. Baby Girl) told me i had to get a bath. i do *not* want to! please rescue me.am i clean enough yet?aaahhhh, that's better.safe, back inside my own crib. you think i'm coming outta here again?oh, for food i might stretch it a bit!clean & college-ready!!

dog vs. hog

oh, no...here he comes again!!hedge is getting edgy - it's time to go back to college & that little spiked beast is cruising all over the joint. of course, he ususally aims for me! L. can't even stop him.she's afraid she might ruin her look if he gets too close. you know, a spike hanging off the nose of a basset isn't exactly high fashion (at least not this year). dear me, dad, did you hafta get him out??

you wanna cuddle? are you kidding me?!?!!

ok, ok, i give!i'm bringing in reinforcements!...Maggie the Boston Terrier (or Boston Terror, if you're a hedge hog!)Maggie is visiting from PA & technically the this tiny hound is our "aunt" - oh, please! are you confused yet? well, *she's* not afraid of Hedge!of course, they did put him back in his plastic roller dome. come here, you...i know you're in there...

dog - 1; hog - 2

(no hedgehogs were harmed in the production of this post.)

can we talk...?

mom is always baking away

why won't she do me something homemade?

gosh, i even got L. into the beg-posture just for this! (how pathetic is that??!?)

beauty sleep?

it might help.

just sayin'.

(caught on film & brought to you by the elusive L.)