beauty sleep?

it might help.

just sayin'.

(caught on film & brought to you by the elusive L.)

hog blogging

yeah, you heard that right...*hog* not dog.

you see the oldest girl, who happens to be a huge animal lover went away to college & in the process of packing, asked mom if she could take L. or me or both of us along with her. of course, mom said no - something about dorm room fines & frat party abuse, but whatever.

whew, that was a close one! i've already been to duck school & it ain't pretty - for me or the school. i like it right here, thank you very much.

well, the die-hard animal lover can't last 2 semesters without a non human mammal to care for & so we now have *him*...aka the "grand hog" or "Hedge"...around for summer break.he & i don't see eye to eye, for sure. first, he's short. way to short for sport! second, he's rude. oh, you heard that right. when i try to buddy up to him, all i get is a nose full o' spikes! OUCH!! and can he guard the house?? not a chance - he lives in a cage & the loudest thing out of his mouth is a puff of air. will he fetch? do tricks for treats? comfort the sick? no, no & no! what's the point?

the crazy peeps just go nuts when he is awake, saying riduculous things like "how cute" and "let me hold him." are they insane??!?! do they not see the *spikes*?

& now they have acquired a new "hog device"...a ball that allows that crazy lil' creature to run free through the entire house, & into me when i am sleeping comfortably on the floor.oh yeah, *now* he wants to play...safely ensconced in that plastic thing from which he can taunt me but i cannot reach him. hmph!!

all L. & i have to say is when does the fall semester start?

dog vs. peanut butter

L. & i are bonafide kitchen hounds, to the core. you just never know what might fall on the floor or be thrown in your general direction in that magnificent room! no matter what peep is in the kitchen, one or both of us is sure to follow.

shhhhhh!

we have several tricks we employ to make our kitchen time more productive. the first is to be a "speed bump"! mom is forever ripping through her appliance triangle to create culinary delights for "them"...but what about us? oh, yeah. the speed bump sloooooows her down, trips her, sends food flying in *our* general direction (ie., the floor). hehe.

some days, she is in less of a hurry (less likely to trip 'n drop), and then the speed bump leads into our other trick - it turns her attention toward us...at which time we put on our best pity faces! L. sometimes even lowers herself to *my* standards and actually begs on her haunches! what a sight! mom says things like "oh, how cute you two are" and "see how much they love me - they just won't leave me alone."
uh huh. just drop some food lady. well, not really, but sometimes.

some days the pity face/beg routine is just soooooooooo very good that we get an extra biscuit or....gasp! *people food*!!

now with mom, it's usually a benign but very tasty treat like a sliver of the fat trimmed off some meat. but if Little Man is around, not so much. that kid has strings attached, if you know what i mean. and he doesn't limit his strings to humiliating trick requirements.

oh. no.

he goes for the jugular...his strings-for-treats make *us* look ridiculous while not raising the ire of mom. a safe bet here is peanut butter.
so good and so bad - all at the same time. a bad gift that keeps on giving, long past when you want it to stop giving...

notice L. she has a shorter memory than me on this one. one swipe of that brown goo on Little Man's finger & she is in her best "brown nose" posture. (is that a pun?)she is way too eager. me, i'm just hanging back, weighing my primal desires against the humiliation factor. and mom has the camera.

L., do you know just how hideous you look...begging and licking like a complete fool!

never mind that my own drool trail is puddling on the floor at the thought of one taste. just one taste. (i can quit anytime i want!)
not.
hammfmafmfmaflllff. amfhlllfhafafffhhahmf.
dog - 0, peanut butter - 1

our neighbor...

...Mr. O.

abandoned on our street...taken in by some very kind peeps...friend of everyone in the 'hood...

mom says he does commands much better than L. & i, but she loves us better anyway!

don't worry, Mr. O., she loves you too!

ain't he sweet!

introductions

ok, so L. still refuses to participate in the blogging fun. what, is she in the Witness Protection Program or something? my peeps say no, but i'm starting to wonder...

so if L. won't come to the blog, the blog will come to her. i will step up and tell her story! it's not like she's copyrighted it.

L. is a French femme fatale (or so she likes to think - ha! if i tell the story, i can edit the story!!) & by my game, an older woman. she came to our peeps a whole 2 1/2 years before me, so i do concede to her game of "i'm the alpha dog here"...most of the time!

L. came on the scene in '01, after the terrible loss of my big canine brother Bubba (he's a total legend around here, do NOT get them started) at a young age. mom took Bubba's medication stockpile back to the vet about 2 months after he was gone, & the vet asked if she had considered getting another dog. mom was caught off guard a bit, because the answer really was no, but she has a heart for all things unwanted, so she listened to the vet's story.

one of the other owners who brought her dogs to the vet had a daughter & grandson, owners of a young basset. they were searching for a home because the grandson had developed an allergy to dogs. mom also has a weak spot for basset hounds, so she took the gal's number and ran the story by dad. after a series of phone calls to this family, it was determined they would go & meet L., just to see...

the children went along --- BIG MISTAKE! that turned a look-see into a take-home!

now to hear L.'s side, she was none too happy about this new thing. she had been rescued by this gal from a miserable existence - outdoor pen & leash, no cushy beds, no table droppin's. Total L. h*ll, if you catch my drift. The gal & her boy took L. into a new dimension of people furniture & counter cruising. she was SPOILED! Rotten. sadly, in 6 short months the boy became increasingly ill and in her short 1.5 year life, L. was again on the move to a new home.

mom says it was like living with a dog that had had a lobotomy for the first 4 months! L. showed no emotion whatsoever. she didn't even respond to her name. sad. not like me, man, i moved right in to my cushy digs full on!!

eventually L. came out of her shell & started to be a normal hound. by the time i came on the scene, she had rightfully earned the title of "the Priss" - oh yeah, she sure is one! she does NOT like to get wet. if there is one solitary drop of rain falling from the sky, L. is back in the door so fast my fur flies. baths...don't even go there!

if mom turns her back on L. while she is in the yard doing her "thing" (you know what i mean), L. takes off on a scent (or pretends to). when mom calls her, she throws a sly look over her shoulder & continues on her merry way. Ooooo...you should hear what mom mutters under her breath as she chases L. around the neighborhood in her PJ's!!!!

if mom does the "catch it" thing - you know, holding food to drop into the mouth & we dogs are supposed to actually catch it - well, not L. she watches it fall, growls in my general direction, saunters over to it, noses it past me and my slobbering face, eats it in no less than 100 chews - all just to tease me!

if there is not enough "fluff" to the dog bed, she will parade around on top of it making all kinds of motions that look, quite frankly, ridiculous before she drops her precious backside down.

while i work (yes, work!) for my morning biscuit, L. just sits there -- and they actually hand the thing to her! (whaaaa??) oh, & if that's not humiliation enough, she then carries her biscuit over to me (happily chomping on mine), watches me eat it, lays hers down in front of me, & glares at me if i even dare to breathe! sometimes, when she looks away, i steal hers just for the heck of it!

oh, yes, that's our L.!

mom said she wanted a lazy basset hound...well, she got it!

sometimes i think the "L" really stands for "lazy"! but don't tell her i said that! wink, wink...

dog vs. camera

If I don't look at her, she will go away...Oh no, here she comes again...

Can't you people see I'm *tired*???!?!

What, what??? Whatsamatter? Did L. give you the *look* & now you want me? C'mon it's too hot to blog...!

left behind...

so today mom & L. & i hung out on the top deck. dad went out in the kayak WITHOUT ME! can you believe that? i knew mom had pity-biscuits in her pocket, so i put on my best pathetic face...

egads! even in my misery of being left behind i must still suffer the humiliation of the "bone on the nose...stay-stay-stay...catch it" thing.is there no mercy?! oh well, it's for food! (oh, & please don't say anything to mom about it only being 1/2 a milk bone on my nose...she did give me the other one for free...plus i stole L.'s! she didn't really want it anyway.)

L., as usual, was too good for this game...she stood off in the distance...waaaay too good for groveling...(mom does call her "the priss" sometimes!)

...back to sentry duty for me!

phil blogging - NOT

this is the blog...

this is phil at my feet dreaming about the blog...

any questions?

introductions

zzzzzzzz....

...well, i was comfortably napping, but since there is no peace when my peeps have the camera, i guess i will introduce my photogenic self. i am phil, the yellow lab. the above photo is me in my most natural state. notice my cushy dog bed - a very cool place indeed!

i am even kind enough to share it with my canine sister L. she is quite shy about expressing herself, so i am not sure when or if i will get her to post here, but she occasionally poses for photos...

L. was around before me (an older woman!) & she is quite sure that she is the alpha female in this house. (i'm sure my human mom thinks differently!) eh, i just let her go...whatever...i get more peace that way, but really - i could clobber her if i wanted to.

frankly i would rather chase a ball...or take a nap...or eat everything! L. is not all that bad - she is a terrific helper in my stalking of the birds & squirrels that frequent our deck - we are quite the canine pest control team!

my life started out in a most complex way...i was born on THE 9/11 to a family of very professional duck hunters. it was all business there. not my style, at all. i basically became a hired gun for some hunter-type. he didn't want to play one iota. it was all training, all the time. heck, he even sent me to some college-for-duck-dogs type place. i had more frequent flyer miles (literally!) than my current peeps. i was miserable! everyone thought i was sick, or possibly, gasp(!), slow. but really, i'm just a fun family guy. the hunter wanted me to fetch a duck; i wanted to roll in the grass. i'm not meant to climb the corporate ladder of duckdom. eventually, the hunter had had enough of my antics.

so after becoming a duckhunting school dropout, i found myself at one of those megapetwarehouse chains, up for adoption. it was mass chaos, i tell ya. every kind of bark & growl you could imagine. people everywhere. i was an oasis of calm in a sea of wacko dogs, sitting regally at the hunter's feet...waiting for? how would i know? oh, but soon i did! in walked a human mom-type with with her boy & girl - how very cool. they came straight to me (Whew!) & spoke to the hunter.

next thing i know i am on a short road trip, following the mom & her brood. at the end of the ride i was introduced to the dad & the other boy & girl - & L.

they loved me, gushed all over me. heck, they didn't even say a word when i dropped a bomb in their dining room! L. did a lot of sniffing you-know-where. she brought out her tugging rope. and she confidently displayed her dominance, just to be safe. and the location - water everywhere! very cool indeed!

i was so glad the hunter left me with these peeps. now my life is full of just what i wanted...good food (if it falls on the floor, it's mine), cushy spots to sleep,doggy snacks, chasing balls, & fun in the water!they even overlook my strangest habits - like licking the air when they use pan sprayor hiding in the bathtub when i'm afraid!oh, i still get a healthy dose of humiliation every morning when they perch a biscuit on my nose and make me sit still before i eat it, but occasionally the mom will just give me a freebie without all the fanfare.

yeah, i'm a happy guy! and i hope my stories make you happy too...see you around here again soon. thanks for stopping by! ...now go out there & chase a ball!!