Happy Howl-idays!!!!

instructions for a very merry holiday...

1. swipe the nearly empty peanut butter container from the trash while mom is filling the cookie tray. she will never notice2. lick furiously...as far as your tongue will go into the container...growl at everyone who comes near your new-found treasure3. give your best hang-dog face while the humans are exchanging gifts4. go so far as to rest your head pathetically on one of their presents5. this will result in many "oooohhhs" & "aaaahhhs" followed by someone giving you *your* gift!

(yes, that is green stuff in my hair...a side effect of the curious cookie decorating incident)

6. pose nicely wearing dumb faux reindeer ears for mom's nosy camera...remembering that she is keeper of treats...Merry Christmas from phil, L., & all our friends here at dog blog!!

when good parties go bad...

oh yes. yesterday was a very good day around here...lots & lots of cookie dough flying around the kitchen. some of it even on the floor. i did my very best to keep things clean on the dog level. i think mom appreciates that.

cookies falling from the baking sheet? yep...i'm on that one too.

i thought that was the best...but i was wrong. mid afternoon things took an amazing turn...mom started rifling around in the biscuit bag. i was all ears. & eyes. & slobbery mouth. we had already done the morning biscuit thing, so this was an unexpected treat. i thought, perhaps, that my extensive kitchen floor clean-up warranted a holiday bonus, but i was wrong.

mom didn't even notice my intent biscuit stare.

it was L.'s birthday & the biscuit was hers. all hers. hmmm.

mom turned it over to Little Man who did some very odd things to it. first...he drilled a hole in it. now, this is a perfectly good waste of biscuit dust. then he stuck a fire stick into it. what????all the while L. is lounging by the fire on her favorite downstairs rug (the one that matches *me*) paying no mind to these escapades. Big Bro applied a party hat to her head & *that* certainly got her attention.hey! i'll wear one if it means an extra biscuit!!... but, no one seemed to notice my eagerness. do you think they recall the last time when i chewed mine to bits?

anyhoo...party hat + burning stick thingy in the biscuit = confused L.she was not amused.she was not impressed.(i, however, needed to be restrained in the background.) mom, for fear of burning down the house, prompted team boyworld to remove the fire stick & let L. in peace for her birthday biscuit.i must admit, i was harboring just a bit of biscuit envy at that moment.even a piece would do.sadly, i sent the wrong signals. a certain boy confused my interest in the biscuit for interest in the fire stick.in case you cannot read facial expressions very well, the above one says, "mom, please put the camera down & help me." at least they extinguished the flame.

at this point i thought all was lost & my humiliation factor at an all-time high. not really so. team boyworld turned their attentions back to the birthday girl who was quietly enjoying her post-biscuit lounge by the fire.in the mess of things one of them retrieved another party hat...not for me. no. this is where the tide turned back in my favor. 2 party hats + 2 boys itching for Christmas break = poor L. first they had to adjust her hat.can dogs laugh? i believe i did. in my opinion, this is a very good look for her. let's call it L.'s winter collection! if you like it, i am very sure you will be impressed with what L.'s design team did next...nice huh??you should have been here. L. stood stock-still. i do not believe a filet would have moved her from that place. this was oh-so-much better than a biscuit for me. well, not really. but it was good!happy birthday L.!!!

busted!!! (or...dog vs. boys)

dear mom...

what ever possessed you to allow Little Man & Big Bro to purchase handcuffs?? did you not know it would come to this? L. & i are not amused. please post bail asap...preferrably in the form of biscuits. & while you are at it, please exercise your jurisdiction over this residence & hide the dad-blame handcuffs!

sincerely yours,

phil

ps. it is hard to blog while cuffed to L.!

dogs - 0 boys - 2 (at least until mom rescues us!)

'tis the season!

this week mom said the hallowe'en/fall/thanksgiving thing was passed & so i figured any remnants of that season could be put to more practical use...say polishing my canines & whatnot.

apparently it was more like...WHAT?!?! NOT!!!!!

that is what mom said when she saw what i found...a left-over squash! her idea of "break it down & put it away" did not include chewing it to bits all over the carpet. but hey...it had the potential to last longer than a biscuit!

so, you might be asking yourself, what happened to ol' phil after he was caught gnawing the squash? well, let me tell you...

mom is big on the distraction game. i have what she does not want me to have. she procures something that i want even more, waves it in front of my face & i forget what i wanted in the first place. you follow??

usually it's food. but today she tried the season change bait-and-switch routine with me. it worked. for a minute. until i realized that some things are even more lame than gnawing on a squash.

think: faux reindeer antlers on a dog!

first, she sent Little Man in with these vibrant red jingle-bell-y things. i'm all ears! he starts waving them around in all their glorious redness. i forget the squash. (mom nabs it at that moment.) next thing i know, i am *wearing* this pathetic fashion statement from the dollar store. ok. i admit i like red. but on antlers?? on me??

and then she expects me to pose for photos??? i would rather a swift whack with a rolled newspaper, but no! i have to *pose* all nicey nice. hmphf.

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in other dog news...L. is well! that's right...she's not only well, she's downright L-egant, primping & fixing her look for the season...